Mar 10 2009
∞
Turtle shoe screwers have more rights than human shoe screwers on YouTube. Life is unfair.
When people ask me why I love the internet, it isn’t just the fact that this video exists. It is that it is two freaking minutes long.
In all my disturbing, turtle-on-footwear sexual assault nightmares, the perpetrator always makes a noise more intimidating than the vaguely wheezy, broken-dog-toy squeak the wild-eyed fiend makes in the clip above. I’m not sure if this reality is comforting or terrifying.
[You’ve undoubtedly seen Turtle Rape Shoe already; I’m just preserving it here for my own thrice-daily viewing.]
