At the cat-litter company’s marketing department
“Our customers are clamoring for us to make coupons available to them, which they could redeem for big savings.”
“Great idea. But how will we ever distribute them?”
“I was thinking we could arrange to have our customers pull them out of the buttcracks of hoboes.”
“Why, that’s brilliant! What a terrific way to build brand loyalty. It may even ‘go viral.’”
“But wait… Wouldn’t that be a bit impractical? Past research indicates that hobo-ass-based distribution models are rarely cost-effective.”
“Yes, I suppose you’re right. Anyone else have any good coupon-distribution ideas?”
“How about this: We put a nasty, dusty coupon packet in each bag, mixed in with the cat litter. Then, when the customer pours out our product, he has to dig around his cats’ fetid box with his bare hands to fish out the coupon packet so his cats won’t piss all over it.”
“My God, you’ve struck gold there! What a brilliant re-creation of the hobo buttcrack experience. Our customers will adore us. Make it so.”
